Now it just feels like the game is trolling me, and Teddy Bridgewater probably feels I’m trolling him, too.
The former Minnesota passer tossed two picks and seeing as Joe Mixon is providing Green Bay Packer levels of stability in the running game Bridgewater decided to take up the mantle of lead running back, too. Bridgewater rushed for 47 yards in addition to his 202 passing yards, 112 of those to A.J. Green – so yay for Green fantasy owners I guess.
DeShone Kizer by contrast was efficient the ball throwing for 147 yards and a pair of scores.
Oh, and Myles Garrett destroyed the Bengals’ offensive line. It was men against boys out there and the Bengals retreated with their tails between their legs and Garrett in their backfield. The former number one overall pick ended the game with two sacks and two TFLs. Try playing against that on All-Madden difficulty. Ouch.
So after opening the season 5-0, Cincinnati now sit at 5-6 and have allowed the rest of the AFC North back into the division.
Next up? Just the small matter of the Pittsburgh Steelers at home.
YES!!!!!!!!! A WIN AT LAST!!!!! The Bengals managed just 149 yards of total offense and just a solitary score – Teddy Bridgewater tossing an eight-yard touchdown pass to Gio Bernard in the first quarter as Cincinnati snapped their six game slide to beat their division rival Steelers 7-6.
However, with the good must come the bad, Ying and Yang and all that. Soon enough Bridgewater was taken out of the game, as were running back duo of Bernard and Joe Mixon leaving the QB-RB backfield of A.J. McCarron and full-back Ryan Hewitt – no I have no idea how I held on for the win either.
It is good to get help though and rookie runner James Conner was only to happy to provide some with a pair of fumbles in Bengals territory.
The injuries to Bernard and Bridgewater proved damaging as Bernard is out for the rest of the season with a broken collarbone while Bridgewater is set to miss a month of action with a shoulder tear. Who’s up for an A.J. McCarron led offense? Nobody? Well the 2-10 Bears are up next so there’s hope.
Good karma has come my way in some form. After losing some close contests in the middle of the season I finally did enough charitable deeds to get some loyalty points on my good karma reward card and now we’ve won back to back close games.
Joe Mixon finally got rid of the concrete in his cleats as he ran over the Bears for 119 yards as the Bengals scrapped a 10-9 win in Chicago.
Meanwhile the Cincinnati offense continues to throw more picks than Jimmy Hendrix and a particularly stressful recording session – so that will be a concern for Kyle Shanahan as he continues to try and cover up the quarterback’s shortcomings in the same way Teresa May is trying desperately to cover up the fact she has no plans for Brexit.
Next a date with the Bears’ division rivals the Minnesota Vikings. Cue the Andy Dalton revenge game narrative and Teddy Bridgewater having a joke with old teammates before looking sombre on the side lines like a dog who has just watched their owner back up out of the driveway.